How to Eat More Gluten: Seitan

February 14, 2012

Photo by ilovebutter

“Wheat gluten is healthier, tastier, and more versatile than tofu.”

Well, considering how I feel about soy, this might be the most worthwhile sentence in the entire Slate article: “Stop eating tofu. Start eating wheat gluten.” Well, that and the next one:

“Vegetarians should be eating it all the time.”

Just kidding. I don’t wish the ravages of gluten on anyone. Speaking of kidding, I’m still hoping that the article about the Maximum-Gluten Diet is someone’s idea of a sick joke. It sounds like a great April Fool’s blog post: Sorry guys, I know I’ve been blogging about the Paelo Diet for the past year, but after some very thorough research, I’ve come to the conclusion that gluten isn’t evil after all – it’s actually the most nutritious substance known to man. In fact, I urge you all to ditch the grass-fed beef forever, and embrace the joys of gluten.

Too bad it’s only February. In all seriousness, WTF?! We’re amassing more and more research on gluten’s dangers, and for a second it seems like sanity might prevail what with all the gluten-free options out there, and then I read this gem of wisdom:

“Like many of the foods people tell you not to eat, gluten is delicious… Honor the sacrifices of the celiacs among us by celebrating your own robust digestive health with a huge plate of seasoned gluten.”

I really at am a loss for words.

Not that eating wheat gluten is a recent development. Wheat gluten, also known as seitan, is believed to have originated in China as a meat substitute for vegan Buddhist monks. How the heck is seitan made, you ask? You just wash wheat flour dough with water until all the starch dissolves, and then you cook the dough. Voila – your very own “wheat meat.” Hey, you want to mess yourself up even worse? You can flavor it with soy!

I didn’t think vegan and vegetarian diets could get any more unhealthy. They’re already typically so excessive in terms of gluten, both from all the grains and the dubious ingredients in the processed meat and dairy replacement products. Impressively, wheat gluten takes it to a whole new level. Bravo…

Leave a Comment


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Chandelle February 17, 2012 at 1:35 PM

I ate tons of that stuff when I was vegan. Seriously, every single day. Any surprise that I’m gluten-intolerant now? Live and learn…


[email protected] February 17, 2012 at 2:50 PM

I’m sorry to hear that.. But good for you for not continuing down that path! Better late than never :)


Previous post:

Next post: